May 15, 2014

Finishing up WtN- mixed feelings

As of right now Welcome to Normality sits here-
SCENES 1-10 Done but need music.
SCENE 11 Done 100%
SCENE 12 is just storyboarded and ive recorded the first 3 shots of 44. That's about 3 and a half pages of storyboards.
CURRENT RUN-TIME (without SCENE 12) 2190sec or 36.5min
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I plan to animate the rest of SCENE 12 in the fantastic world of 2D. I'll be drawing the frames in ballpoint pen on paper then scanning and repeating. Normally I'd be like "Fuck that" but the last scene doesn't have a background and it only focuses on 2 characters (one of which doesn't really move) so it shouldn't be TOO challenging to do. I estimate this will take me 2 maybe 3 days to complete.
After that its up to M dot with the music and believe me I am not rushing him. Dude put out a I am Nightmare, an album, is starting up his own online school, did several little experimental videogame projects AND is still kind enough to help a scarecrow out!
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Anywhich... as I near the completion of my nearly 2 year long project ive noticed im getting a lot of mixed feelings about it all. I'm excited cuz I get to finally show the world and I can say "Hey fuckas! I did it, suck it France!" ...but then ofcourse theres that irritating and ever-present self loathing that starts to creep in too. Yay, its almost done... however its not a FEATURE film like I had planned, it took me this long just to create a "moderate-at-best" animated short film, and other things start to weigh into the funk.
And then theres this OTHER funk I find myself flirting with. Its not a angst fueled sadness, but more of a genuine depression. I guess the only thing I could compare it to in order to get my point across is to say that I feel like the mom and dad that chase their toddlers school bus down in the morning just because its hard to let go, even though its still here. I dunno, its weird... I know im still gonna be "art busy" with my comics and my next film, but it just seems weird to look a month or so into the future and NOT see me working on WtN in anyway. Life goes on I suppose...

May 2, 2014

My only friend, The End

A child is created and loved for minutes upon minutes by its creator. Passion and pride sparkle in the darkness as the lens flare rounds to the other end, the light strikes into the child's eye and an empty black spills out. Abandoned, the child waits for its creator to return, a month passes, it seems the creator has found himself an old flame... the previously dampened passion and pride now roar with intense ferocity over this growing monster.
The child remains patient, waiting. The creator thrashes violently in the night as sleep continues to allude him. Something pulls his strings into the dark, the old flame now burns deeply in his heart spreading with every molten pump.
Negativity and pessimism pulsate around the creator as he continues to neglect the child he once held tightly in his arms. The rekindled flame can feel a mind's eye jolting from the child and back, envy morphs its way into depression... Depression creeps into the child and mocks the creator, judging every step, every motion until finally the creator falls.
The creatures of fear and loathing tear away at the scarecrow until all that remains is a tiny blackened heart, barely beating. The spark has faded and the roaring fires strangled by doubt and self pity. Atop a shelf, the child sits still patiently waiting for the creator to return...
Dust collects and settles as the orphan's eyes close for the last time. The heart of the scarecrow crusts and molds as the lights are dimmed and the curtains close.
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Dont start something as an artist unless you have every intention of finishing it. No matter how dissapointed in yourself you may feel, or how difficult the task ahead may be... you still have an obligation to yourself. If you leave your creation abandoned for too long the fire will go out and it will eat away at you from the inside out until you die, taking your art and whatever it could have become with you.
Why not make a legacy instead of excuses?
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Also in this issue!
Visual Log 050214