Oct 11, 2014

Why i havent started The Freaks of LampCord

The fun of creating films with Welcome to Normality was sort of ruined for me. By that I mean EVERYBODY ELSES BULLSHIT is a lot to deal with when you're trying to make YOUR OWN film.
I was really excited when I finally got to animate WtN for the first time and when I got to the computer and saw my first "final render shot", it was all so unreal and I finally felt like I had a purpose and all that good shit. So I tell my friends...
They get excited and EVERYBODY begs/tells me to put them in their movie, or to let them do a part in editing or whatever. This got me more excited, I thought "Hey these guys actually like it and want to be a part of it!".
But whenever it came time to actually work on it, everybody either flaked or tried to completely take over and become super queen divas. Sometimes people would come over saying they wanted to help with the film but then just fucked around for 3 hours wasting my time when I could have been animating. Others would get there and constantly shit-talk the animation and how I used 2D with stopmotion. When I first started WtN I would always be so excited to show my friends what new clip I had animated, and their constant nit-picking and overall lack of enthusiasm told me all the hype they were giving me was complete bullshit. 
It especially hurt when a couple people would say "This part isn't written right, the character shouldn't say this." or "Wouldn't it be better if-(insert bullshit here)".
I just think way too many people over step way too many boundaries with me, in both my real life and with the film. I wrote that script, I know it isn't the best shit the world has seen, but its me. Its mine and I worked my ass off to write it, why should it be changed?
Dash says it best when he says doing films with other people is like trying to herd cats. Its a crap responsibility, and where I tried to go big my first time around I got shit on every second of the way. Im generally a nice laid back guy so I shrug everybody off and don't even think about how disrespectful and full of shit most people are... until later. I let this shit bottle up and finally I snap and become super aggravated with the world and hide away in my little closet studio.
I suffer from severely stupid depression problems.
I never tell anyone cuz honestly, who cares? We all have depression problems. But it gets so bad and (my wife and two sons keep me from being an hero) I often find myself wondering "What would happen if I just jump out into traffic right now? How long til people noticed I was gone? Would the driver be more worried about me, or more worried about getting in trouble?"
Anyway... being fucked with when It comes to making my passion projects is a REALLY BIG depression trigger for me, and I came close to calling it quits on life several times within those past 2 years. Needless to say im not to eager to jump back on that train. I know its just mental shit I gotta work through but its still not something im really looking to do with arms wide open.
I think for now im just gonna keep the doors shut on my projects and just give the few people who give a damn a little visual log every month or so to show im still alive, other than that im just stickin to myself.


  1. Having recently watched the film, the logs, and other stuffus in the past day, this post feels timely. I get The Feel you're having, and actually had a breakdown in the midst of last year that I've only "got over" the past few months. Cut all ties and tried to be swallowed in the personal work I had for myself, only to crumble because I couldn't even do that.

    In the midst of working and getting better, I too have found the concept of "herding cats" though I try not to think negative on it, because it's too easy. Being in it on your own is troubling stuff, especially when the help you do get isn't that helpful at all, a feeling which you showcased in Welcome To Normality now that I think on it. Have to watch it again to catch what I haven't before...

    But do what you do, what you have to do, in order to be sane and safe. You appear to have a strong bond with your family, and I'm thankful to note that. Projects of your nature do take far too much out of you if you let it, so just watch yourself and keep in touch with those who are genuinely there for you. And my apologies if these words are akin to those folk who don't know their boundaries, but your words caught me due to how similar they are to where I've been.

    Otherwise, is your Welcome To Normality Exclusive Edition still up for grabs? Etsy says yes, but having only ONE of those about makes me wonder if there was a "back room deal" at some point. ;)

    1. Thanks man, and I kinda get the feeling that just about every artist ends up going through something like this, I just let it get to me is all. But im still here and all that good junk and I cant give up,(or the terrorists win) ya know?
      And yeah its still available, I think 40 may be too steep of a price for a short film thing.

  2. Some people are just douchewits and should worry about their own shit instead of ripping on people who are actually doing something they are passionate about and creating beautiful little art babies in their brain wombs. They don't understand that feeling because they have never had the guts to attempt something that would take that much time and effort with no promise of anything in return.

    These art projects are basically our children. If someone has a baby, anyone who started telling the parent that their baby was ugly or stupid, or that you should have given it blonde hair instead of brown, or made it a girl instead of a boy would be seen as a retarded arsehole by pretty much everyone, but if people criticise a project someone has been working super hard on and created with their own mind, most people don't really give a shit. It is super ghey, but haters gonna hate.

    Working on non-film stuff for a while sounds like a good idea. That was a pretty high level quest that you just completed, Tim.

    I would like to keep hearing about the stuff you are doing though. Artist updates and rambles are probably like 40% of my lifeblood.


    P.S. I don't think I was aware that you had more than one son. Has this been the case for a while now?

    1. Thanks, and yeah Jonathan Davis lastname, and Anakin Lestat lastname. Jonathan will be 3 in just a few days and Anakin is a little over 1.
      And don't worry bout meh. I'll be all good, just wanted to let everyone know of the "struggle" and how im a little hesitant to jump head first into it all again.
      Also... I got your DVD and ill ship it out within the next week

    2. Woah, that went fast. Didn't think it was that long ago that I was dawwing over some photos of super tiny Jonathan you had up at the time.

      I got my dvd and awesome dope stuffs in the mails yesterday. Thanks heaps dude :)

  3. If someone doesn't like the way you wrote your film, ask them "where's your script?" There aren't many people like us in the world. It can get super lonely and frustrating when nobody understands that you're trying to accomplish something important. Being a filmmaker myself, I actually DO have any business criticizing WTM. But since it's something that came from your heart, made with your own elbow grease, it's perfect. Even with it's "flaws" it shows who you were when you made it. Also, it's one of the best looking films I've seen in a long time. It's original. I think people are freaking out because they expected to see 3d smurfs and got stop-motion what-the-fuck-is-this instead.

    1. I don't really care if people liked it or not, it just pissed me off that the nit-picking started the moment I started animating, like shooting me down before I even take off ya know?